I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
