dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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