Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
