i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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