If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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