we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize