did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
