I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
