I am puke
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
