The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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