I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
