I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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