We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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