can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
