Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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