maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
