I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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