I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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