my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
