using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
