Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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