bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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