I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
