I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
