marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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