I think I am morally bankrupt
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
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She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
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my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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