I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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