i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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