I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize