you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Randomize
