is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
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