life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
