You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
