goodnight i made you a song goodbye
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
