I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
