Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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