1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
