I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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