how can u be prego again
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
