If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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