Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
