Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
