frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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