I should be sponsored by Trojan
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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