I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
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There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize