thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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