Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
