So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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