Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
