If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
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