I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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