And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
it was like eating out sand paper
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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