I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We have so much sex to catch up on
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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