idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he fucked my hip out of place.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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