the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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