We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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