At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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