i permit you to call me
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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