I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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