Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
